News

Just started a pretty strange feature for your perusal - BeardWatch. I'm going to see just how much of a beard I can grow, as my (almost) legendary inability to grow a beard provides an unexpected bit of inspiration for a feature. Enjoy!

Just had to pay my tuition fees to those stealing bastards, UWE. The ?1075 tuition fees mainly go toward UWE's bid to buy Bath University, so that they can make more money. They obviously don't spend it on getting better lecturers... God I hate UWE.

Anyway, to the point. I've made a special little vote for you people, mainly to test the new features of the host, but it also provides an answer to the age-old question - which Neighbours women is the best? Have your say here.

It seems that the 'Female or Shemale' game was sooo popular, it was taken down. Bastards. So you'll have to amuse yourselves some other way tonight. Sorry.

On a lighter note, this is the third update for today. Fuck me, I really should get out more.

[EDIT @ 20:00] My IE cache is actually doing it's job properly, so I saved a copy of the quiz from oblivion. Test yourself here.

Shit me, another update in the same day - I am just too good. Now one for the older readers amongst us. Remember the classic playground insult 'Joey'? Do you know where it came from? Do you want to? Then go to this marvellous site, where you can learn all about the spastic. It also has a rather neat little page devoted to John Davidson, who had Tourette's syndrome and was the subject of a QED documentary.

So, there you have it. Poking fun at those less fortunate than yourselves can be fun and productive. The wonders of the Internet never cease!

Great fun little game here, test out your he-girl spotting abilities here to weed out the laydees from the 'chicks with dicks'. It's harder than you think (no, not that) - I got 13 out of 16....

Right, now that I'm back in Bristol I can upload the new shit to the site. Tons of new features await, and some tweaks to the site - you can get rid of that annoying disclaimer screen (it has to be there). Oh, and the site is hosted somewhere else now - but you don't need to know that.

Best of all, though, is the new feature. Some of you helped in the production of this masterpiece, but this feature is the best. Take a look at thestoreroom.tk's guide to modifying your car.

Bloody hell I've been busy.... Got another new feature for you people this time it's 'Telephone Trickery' - the fantastic phone pranks performed by the Tweek-meister. Guffaw at the antics of Paul from Switzerland as he tries to book a table at the Blackbird, or chuckle at the depressed woman...

The Queen Mother's funeral has spurred me on to do some new features for you people... So here they are:

Photoshop Phun - Not just a clever pun, but a collection of photoshopped pictures from my machine. Have a look, it's a bit like the gallery from HartBeat. No, not that shit Yorkshire dirge TV programme, but that Tony Hart programme that used to be on ages ago.

Bollox rules - Recently uncovered in a dirty corner of my room, the rules of the long-forgotten game of Bollox™. Many summer days were wasted at the West Buckland Bollox™ Arena playing this magical game...

Coming Soon... - Got some more up and coming features, such as bootlegs, prank calls and other hilarities.

Just a bit of promotion for my current favourite-of-all-time film, which I think is criminally ignored. It's called Battle Royale and the plot is basically this: A class of Japanese schoolkids are sent to a deserted island and forced to kill each other off until only one survives. It's full of guns, violence, and Japanese schoolgirls in short skirts and knee-high socks.

It's available to rent at Blockbuster (I think) so go and get it - NOW. Here's a couple of pictures to show you what you're missing out on...