News

Blah blah snow blah winter 2007 blah movie blah click here

You might not know, but I'm obsessed with snowboarding. So when my brother and I went on a recent holiday, we set out to make one of those gnarly, radical snow videos that everyone seems to make these days. Turns out, it's pretty fucking difficult and takes a lot of time, so while I dick around with the main movie stuff here's a quick trailer I knocked up.

If you can't see what's going on in that YouTube version, you can get your grubby hands on a full-res version over here.

Keep it real, dudes.

I don't really like posting a news item just about someone else's postings over at some other forum, but these are too good to keep to myself. You remember Kris Akabusi, yeah? Record Breakers? Athletics?

Well some bloke over at Football365's forum has been busy writing erotic fiction involving everyone's favourite 4x400m relay runner, and with such classic lines as

'Within hours it was over, Miss Portensa a useless pile of tit, minge and spunk and Akabusi panting and sweating like a multiple rapist.'

Honestly. This shit is golden. Read as much as you like here.

This is just poetic justice - cheeky bastards try to sneak past some kind of freaky automatic bollards in Manchester that are only supposed to let buses through, and don't make it. You've got to love the Mercedes 4x4 that smacks into them. Justice...

Take a look at the YouTube video here

What if I told you that something called the Perry Bible Fellowship was one of the funniest things on the Internet? You'd probably think it was some kind of ultra-religious cult or something, yeah? Well, it's not that, but it's just as wierd (and funny) - it's a whole load of small comic strips made by some bloke with a very strange sense of humour.

OK, so it can be a bit hit and miss, and some of them I just don't get, but there are some incredibly awesome little comic strips in there. Apparantly they're sometimes in the Guardian too, but I don't read newspapers. Too many complicated words, innit? Anyway, give it a visit!

Me and Jon (who you probably don't know) went out on our bikes this weekend and had an 'extreme' time riding 'radical' trails and pulling some 'gnarly' moves along the ups and downs of Ashton Court in Bristol. We took a camera and a willing cameraman and filmed our adventures. For some reason, I thought the Internet would be interested in watching this vid, as that's all the rage these days and all that, so I've uploaded it for you all to watch.

Decision time... Download it as a high-quality 55Mb WMV file, a low-quality 13Mb WMV file or watch a fairly shitty version via the magic of YouTube right here.

Keep it radical, dudes. Peace out, yo.

Finally, fucking finally. I've put the finishing touches to the first version of the new storeroom. There's probably a few things wrong, so you might get a few errors here and there, but for the most part I think it'll work OK...

Anyway, I'll be working on a few enhancements and stuff to make it much better. If you've got any ideas, let me know! There's a post here for you to abuse me in...

OK, it's just been discovered that some people stand while wiping their arse, and some people sit to clean up the mess left behind. Mindblowing, huh?

So where do you stand on the issue? Vote in the poll here and let's see which side is right. THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT.

Well, I know I've done fuck all to this site in a while, and that's all I seem to say, but I've been secretly working on a major upgrade to all areas of this shithole for the last 6-9 months. It'll be really great, and have loads of bits that make a lot more sense than this cobbled together piece of PHP crap.

Anyway, in the meantime, have a look at the latest craze for toddlers: Pee and Poo plush toys. What better way for your kid to learn about the joys of bodily functions than through the medium of soft toys? Honestly, this is fucking genius. But what else do you expect from the Swedes?

Well, this video's been finished for ages and I've only just got around to uploading it to this here internet thing - but it's worth the wait. Tweeky, Bessy and boys created this masterpiece at four in the morning, and it doesn't show at all, honest. An in-depth analysis of how mentally challenged people (retards) cope in society, and the problems they face.

You've got a choice of two files - a hefty 18MB high-quality video or a smaller, lower quality 9MB version. Or you can watch it on everyone's favourite copyright-flaunting YouTube right here. Make your choice and watch the video, yes?

Right, I'm off to have a poo. Bye!